Thursday, June 14, 2007

Creation of my album ...

Well it has been a while since I last made a post.

In the past few months I have made the decision to defer my entire final year till next year due to the stress that I have been through recently.

Something which I have completed in this time is an album of my own music (self composed).

I plan to release this and hope to make some money for my selected charity.

You can learn more about my album at my web site (there is a link in the right hand side menus on all my blog posts). Please feel free to visit my new web site section (when it is finished) and feel free to preview the tracks I have created.

I will be back in the future.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Introduction and why I started this

Well the main reason for me starting this blog was mainly to reflect on my experiences through life which are now changing me as a person. Much of this will be emotional and possibly hard to understand, unless you, yourself have been through something similar. What do I mean, you ask? Well you can learn by reading here first.

I know its a lot to take in and I appreciate you taking the time to read all of it.

Recently I had to make my biggest life decision that I have had to make. I had to decide to quit my final year of university. Not my entire degree, just my final year, otherwise you may understand it better if I put it "to defer everything outstanding till next year".

Ever since this event I have been completely not myself, thinking and feeling things I wouldn't normally associate myself with. Recently my PTS has become worse and I am personally finding life a really big struggle. Those who have been through similar events in their lives will know and understand a lot more than those who haven't. You don't know the pain or suffering without going through it yourself. It's something you can't imagine.

I know I have said to myself several times that I have worked so hard to get so far and now when I see things as "it's all going down the drain", making my hard work a complete waste of time. I know I am lucky compared with some people and in a way stupid to have done what I did, as I may have felt differently but in the heat of the moment instinct got the better of me.

I do not ask for sympathy through this blog, but will not dismiss any comments that relate in such a conceptual manner.

I have to remind myself that life isn't all that bad and that I am better off than some other people, not as in wealth but in the sense that I have a roof over my head and have basic needs such as water, clothes and a bed to sleep in at night.

I ask questions such as would I be better off dead than trying to pick myself up and take the fall like a man, but would dismiss the thoughts straight away and remember my loved ones and friends.

Something which I have used to get myself through this touch stage so far is my own compositions in my music (of which I plan to upload eventually; once I hook my PC and Keyboard up together). So for now I have left you with some of my favourite classical music.

I'll leave that for now as an opening but there is a lot more to follow and I will go into more detail over this blogs lifetime (assuming that I will continue it for a long time).

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Main Event! Life Threatened

Walking up to work as normal one Saturday afternoon (about 17.30), I walked around a blind bend. I then passed two young black men of whom looked suspicious. I increased my pace, then literally in a couple of seconds I had my ipod snapped from my neck. I reacted straight away by pursuing the two individuals chasing them up a steep hill. I was about to pounce on the closest one to me when he suddenly turned around (by this point I was about 10ft away from him), hauled out an object which turned out to be an axe. I was always concentrating on where the axe was going compared with the suspect’s faces!

As soon as I calculated that this object was an axe I put out my arms and hands in a gesturely manner as to say "ok ... take the ipod ... just leave me to live" (thank you very much). At that same time the suspect was hauling abusive verbal commands at me as well as hauling the axe above his left shoulder (my right) as if he was going to do some very serious damage!

After they turned and ran off with my ipod, in a state of absolute shock, I quickly turned around (swiftly). Whilst turning around I noticed that a mobile phone had been dropped by one of the suspects; so I crabbed it and shoved it in my left hand trouser pocket.

I then started to very quickly walk, even jog towards work; mainly wanting to get into public view. On the way I asked a man who was walking his dog if he had seen anyone run by, he answered politely "no". I briefly explained that my ipod had just been violently robbed from me and that I had been consulted with an axe capable of doing serious damage. On my way to work I spotted a fellow friend and work colleague who was on her way to the wooded area where I had just come from, so as a good citizen I warned her of what had happened and explained to her that I was on my way to work to phone the police.

Arriving at work, I went directly to the service desk and phoned the police (about 17.50 / 17.55). By this time I was still in shock and found it hard to fully explain what had happened to me. After being told that someone was on their way I went to put the mobile phone within a clear plastic 'produce' bag (using one other one as a glove). I then went to the admin room to grab some paper to write down what had happened (as much as I could remember).

The police arrived swidty within 20 minutes. Upon arrival the mobile phone was ringing so they ended up answering it making the assumption that the suspects were attempting to find thier lost device. I then was asked to provide writen statement, using the one i already had started to write down.

Three weeks went by before hearing from them again, informing me that they had received numbers from the phone which they were looking into and that they were going to start visiting certain addresses.

After another two weeks I got called into ID them, even though I explained to the police that I was concentrating on where the axe was going rather than their faces. I stressed that I could remember features such as thier build and height etc.

Whilst going through the ordeal I was absolutly petrified about the whole idea of ID'ing them. During the ID parade I couldn't get a 100% ID on the first suspect; but the second one I was 100% sure. A day later, about to go into my last lecture of the day I received a call explaining that I had picked out the wrong one and that they couldn't take it further. I had to get off the phone due to me having a lecture so simply said fair enough and then the detective ended putting the phone down, without saying goodbye or apologising.

I asked myself "What kind of justice is this? I get told that it is only a 'facial' ID parade" which seems very unfair still.

I pray to god that the next victim(s) are as bright as me (as in they don't try and fight them).